everybody's crazy ('bout a sharp dressed man)
by midnightluck
Summary: Ace may have been born to be Sailor Moon, leader of the Sailor Scouts and protector of the Throne of the Moon, and he may have to lie to everyone and wear a short skirt to fight evil by moonlight or some such, but he doesn't have to like it.
1. magic, miserable, & other things ace is

The thing about this whole mess is it's just so very, very dumb. There are a million and three ways it could have (and really ought to have) been avoided.

Gol D. Roger could have just not passed on the family inheritance. Rouge could have seen he was a boy and decided not to push it on him. Garp needn't have given him the shiny magical necklace, and Ace really didn't have to touch it and say the magic words, just to know what would happen.

But he did and she did and he did and Ace certainly did, for all he regrets it now.

Turns out that what happens is, there's a flash of rainbow everything, he suddenly levitates a bit, and actually cannot stop his body from moving as ribbons appear to strangle him and weights dig into his ears and his back bends in a frankly painful arch and a brand is applied to his forehead.

It lasts for just a bit longer than forever, and ends in the dumbest pose he could possibly imagine, one with a wink and a smile and pointing fingers that he will never be caught dead in again, not ever.

There's words on his tongue, too, words that want to be said, but what really comes out is a shriek.

It's bad enough that the top is really tight across his shoulders, but the gloves are also _white_ and really delicate looking, the boots have a lot of ribbon but no decent sole or support, and overall, he lives in a forest and this is the least practical outfit ever for that.

And that's before he finds the fancy dangly earrings or the giant bow over his butt.

Really, it's no wonder he panics and runs.

He finally trips and stops a while later, on the edge of the Grey Terminal, and that's when he discovers that, for all he's been tearing through a forest in a white leotard, it's still spotless. The delicate gloves have been used to catch branches and hit cliff walls, and by all rights they should be shreds, or at the very least, dirty. The blue skirt is not even close to long enough to protect his legs, but none of the branches he hit left marks on his skin. And for all that he's never in his life worn boots with so little ankle bracing or so much heel, he didn't trip once because of them. In fact, he's pretty sure he's never run faster or jumped higher than he did just then.

But. There's something sticky on his lips.

He tries to tug off one of the gloves to touch his mouth, but it won't come off. Neither will the boots, or the earrings, or the crown-thing he discovers on his forehead.

And that's when he realizes that Garp didn't tell him how to turn the damn thing off.

* * *

When he finally calms down, he tries to logic it out. Saying the words again doesn't turn it off, he can't remove any part of his new outfit, and nothing can hurt either it or him while he's wearing it.

He's gonna be stuck like this for the rest of his life. His self-pity party is immediate and deep.

"Hey," the random kid perched halfway up a nearby trash pile says to him.

Ace looks up, scowls and says. "What do _you_ want?"

"Nothing," the kid replies. "I was just wondering if you were the Moon Princess."

Ace groans and hides his face forever. "I hate my life."

"So that's a yes, then," The kid performs a few nimble leaps and then skids down the rest of the trash pile, landing by Ace. He looks Ace (and Ace's outfit) up and down a few times, then finally offers, "Mine's blue."

Ace nearly cries in sheer relief. He immediately springs up and tackles the other boy, who's a bit shorter and a lot dirtier than he is. "Please please _please_ tell me you know how to turn it off."

The kid does know how to turn it off. He even tells Ace, after a long period of pointing and laughing.

"Just, like, imagine your transformation item, and then do it backwards," the kid says, which seems obvious and unhelpful.

But Ace will take literally anything at this point, so he grabs his necklace and focuses on the feel of it under his hand, and then imagines all the glitter and rainbows and ribbons being sucked back into the beads.

Warm wind surrounds him for a second, and then his head gets all spinny and his knees hit the ground.

"First time, huh?" the kid asks from a long ways away. "It's really draining, isn't it? Just wait til you start using your magic."

"Magic?" Ace, well, okay, whines. At least his head's stopped spinning. "I don't want magic! I don't want any of this!"

"Too bad." He sounds so unsympathetic, though. "No one asked us if we wanted magical powers, and also you're going to have to learn to collapse like a girl."

"What?!"

"Well, look! If you're gonna fight in a skirt, you're gonna collapse in a skirt, and if you fall like that…"

Ace looks down. He'd fallen with his legs out in front of him, arms supporting himself from behind, and unconsciously bent his knees when he sat back up. "...oh."

The kid sits down next to him in a neat tailor's-seat. "My name's Sabo," he says, dipping his top hat in greeting. "But I'm also Mercury."

"Ace," Ace responds. "I'm-no, I can't, sorry."

Sabo laughs at him some more, but also says, "I'm no expert, but I can show you what I do know about being a Sailor Scout."

Ace eyes him warily. "Does that include collapsing like a girl?"

Sabo grins cheerfully back. "We'll start there," he decides. "And then move on to the magic."

"Why do you even know this?"

Sabo's face draws up into a scowl, and he looks away. "That doesn't matter. Do you want my help or not?"

"Yeah, yeah. Sorry. Okay, teach me, then."

"First things first," Sabo says. "Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, there was a kingdom on the moon."

After Ace has been bonked on the head and is listening properly again, he continues. "There was a kingdom on the moon and they were peaceful and happy and-no, shut up, seriously. Okay, so they were peaceful 'cause they had the strongest army, okay? And the pride of that army was the Royal Sailor Scouts, who drew their powers from the planets themselves. They were supposed to protect the Moon Princess, who could channel the power of the moon itself.

"But then the youma, who were chaotic and cruel and had been banished, decided to attack. They wiped out the kingdom, there was a whole war, yadda yadda yadda. Point being, the Moon Queen cast a spell to allow the Moon Princess and her Sailor Scouts to reincarnate to fight the youma and restore the Moon Kingdom. And it seems the Sailor Powers have been passed down ever since."

Ace waits a moment, but that's it. "So….how do I get rid of it?"

Sabo stares at him. "You _can't,"_ he says, voice heavy with the unspoken _duh_. "Were you even listening? You're the reincarnation of the Moon Princess; there's no getting rid of it."

Ace groans and falls over backwards. "Noooooooooooo," he whines. "Make it go away."

"You can at least hide it. The last Moon Princess was a pirate, I think," Sabo tells him, like it'll make him feel better. "Really pissed off the Marines, at any rate. They've got a standing bounty on the Moon Princess, so, y'know. Hiding's actually probably your best bet."

"Every time I think it can't get worse, you open your mouth and it _does_ ," Ace says balefully.

Sabo ignores him and keeps talking. "Other places see the Sailor Scouts as a status symbol," and his voice is suddenly bitter, before he stops. "I heard that there's a Sailor Scout in the Grand Line, though, as a pirate. Sailor Venus, I think? So it's not like this'll dictate your life."

Except it will, of course it will. He's not even ten and he's already wanted twice over. "I'm gonna be a pirate," he tells Sabo, even though Sabo didn't ask. "I don't care who wants me or why, or how much money they put on my head. I'm gonna be a pirate and I'm gonna be _free_."

"We're Sailor Scouts," Sabo says, and the bitterness is back. "We'll never be free."

They stay there in silence for a while, Sabo sitting and Ace collapsed on his back. Finally, Ace manages a sigh. He sits back up, looks over at Sab and says. "So? You gonna show me how to fight in a skirt or what?"

And Sabo grins, and then Sabo _does_.

Ace regrets asking almost immediately.

* * *

Magic, it turns out, is hard. Magic is annoying and unpredictable and Ace just cannot get it to work on demand.

Sabo does not have this problem. His problem is keeping a straight face when Ace says the words, does the pose, and nothing happens.

"You've just got to feel it in your soul," he says unhelpfully, perched on a rock. "It's like the same feeling as when you transform, all _swish_ and warm, y'know?"

Ace does not know, thank you, and that doesn't even make _sense_. He huffs and falls back on his own rock. "I don't understand," he whines. "It's not working."

"You've got to really want it to," Sabo says, leaning forward. "You've got to need it, you know? Course, it also helps if you accept the moon magic into your soul-"

Ace makes a horrified yelp of denial and tackles Sabo, or at least tries to. Sabo laughs at him, jumps from the rock, and transforms in midair. It's Mercury who hits the ground behind Ace and who points and laughs.

"You really need to learn how to fall," Mercury says, and Ace makes a noise that is totally not a squeak, no way, and flips over, scooching over and back until his legs are under him.

"Stop telling me that!"

"I'd be glad to," Mercury says, making a bubbly flourish just because he can, the bastard. "Just as soon as it's not necessary."

* * *

There's a snot-nosed brat who won't leave Ace alone.

It's annoying as hell, and Ace does his level best to ditch him. The kid clings like a leech, though, and if he's not actively suicidal, he sure doesn't have much in the way of self preservation. The only lure that seems to be stronger than Ace himself is meat, and Ace soon finds himself reduced to throwing chunks of meat in one direction and fleeing in the other.

But the kid cannot take fuck off and die for an answer, apparently, and one day he gets himself caught, and then Ace has to go save the brat, of course, and then he's stuck with him. Well, they're stuck with him, more like.

Because of course Sabo thinks the brat is precious. Sabo likes _Ace,_ so obviously his taste in people sucks.

Still, he's helpful, in his own way. He's at least a new challenge to spar against, even if he's not much of one; he can't use magic, after all.

Though he can't use his Devil Fruit either. Or even his own body.

He _really_ sucks at fighting.

"Gum gum—" Luffy starts, halfway through their daily fights, and Ace snorts and steps just enough to the side that when Luffy yells "—Punch!" he goes flying right past Ace.

And bounces off a tree and off the ledge.

"Oh," says Luffy as he tips over, and Ace takes a second to blink because surely even Luffy couldn't be that dumb—

But no rubber arm comes shooting up to grab at a tree, and there is, in fact, a loud splash.

Ace stares at Sabo.

Sabo stares at Ace.

"He's really dumb," Ace says flatly, and then they both go skidding towards the edge as fast as possible.

The ravine here is deep, though, and the water through it is fast; Luffy's already out of sight. "C'mon," Ace says, already turning. "Maybe we can catch him at the bridge—"

There's a rush down his spine and the world slows behind him for a single thick second before blue and glitter explodes past him. "We can't catch up," Sabo—no, Mercury says. "The water's too fast."

But Sailor Scouts can jump higher and run faster, and yes, exactly, that's a good thing. Ace grabs his necklace and nearly trips over the words, he's going so fast, but he can't rush the transformation, and if it seems like whole minutes of twirling to him, he knows it's only a second or two in reality.

By the time he steps out of the pose, Mercury's got his goggles down and his hands in front of him, braced. He's muttering under his breath but Sailor Moon doesn't have time for this—Ace is already taking off, leaping over the ledge and trusting his boots to help him find grip on the rock walls.

They do, through magic or strength or what-the-hell-ever, and Ace is off, bouncing from wall to wall, eyes scanning every which way for Luffy. He's almost to the bridge when the water stops.

It just stops, stops flowing and moving, like a second frozen in time. Ace is in the air and he nearly miffs his next landing because he's too busy staring to check his position.

And then there's a rumble, a loud sound of angry earth, and the water starts moving again, stuttering forward and rapidly dropping in level. Ace pushes off the wall and jumps for the bridge; whatever's happening, he does not want to be caught in the ravine.

And that, it turns out, is a good call. He's squinting back towards the forest to see if he can See Mercury from here when a shadow falls over him from behind.

Ah, Ace thinks, turning around and looking up and up and up.

Well, he can't fault Mercury's logic, he supposes; making the water bring Luffy to them is a good plan.

But he absolutely can fault Mercury's execution, and he does, loudly and viciously, even as he catches a glimpse of black and red cresting the top of the tsunami headed right for him.

"I hate you _so much_ ," Ace mutters, then backs up as much as he can, puts as much power as possible in the two steps he gets, and jumps, pushing off the rope railing so hard it unravels beneath his boot.

But he's already airborne, aiming for where he saw that flash of color, and he punches through the wave near the tip where it's thin. He has to keep his eyes open and the salt burns, but his grasping hands catch on oddly-smooth skin and he grabs hold, pulling Luffy up with him.

The water's taken most of his momentum, though, and he's no longer gonna clear the wave, especially not with all this extra weight in his arms.

He opens his mouth to curse and swallows seawater instead, which is just a mistake all the way around. It breaks his concentration just a bit, but just a bit is enough and the wave tugs him in and around and under.

It's quiet, is what he notices when he's underwater again with burning eyes and protesting lungs. It's quiet but quick and it'll probably kill him without care or reason, and that's almost worse.

He still manages to twist around til he's moving backwards so he can get Luffy in front of him, though; when they come down, they're gonna come down _hard-_

His back slams into something hard and the little air he had is punched out of his body as the water pressure sandwiches him between a wave and a hard place. _What,_ he thinks, and _it's too soon for the ground_ ….

There's an odd double pressure, like bars, like slats, and of course, of _course_ , it's the _bridge_.

Only the bridge is broken, isn't it, because he snapped the rope; that means that when the water pressure passed, he'd be-

It ebbs and Ace starts to slip. He gropes for a grip with both feet and one hand, trying to balance Luffy against his body as his desperate fingers close around one of the ropes still intact and the wave rushes off without them.

Only now he's supporting both their weight by one precarious grip on very wet rope, and the creaking noises are kinda alarming.

"Sabo!" he hollers, dangling as loose as he can manage.. "Could use a hand here!" He hopes Mercury gets over here soon, though; the strain on his shoulder is starting to set in and Luffy-

Luffy's not breathing.

Luffy's _not breathing_.

It doesn't matter if his shoulder hurts or if there's water in his lungs or anything else; he _pulls_ , scrabbling with his boots to get some leverage, any kind of grip, and manages just as his wet glove slips off the wet rope.

Well, that's fine. Just gives him two arms to wrap around Luffy, and he needs those to keep floppy limbs out of the way while he aims for the ravine walls and takes them at a controlled fall, just over to that rock so he can bounce up and over and touch down hard on the solid ground of the forest.

Luffy's not breathing and there's a fire in his heart, a denial in his soul, and words on his lips, so he lets them spill out.

"Moon Healing Magic!"

It's like his transformation, only not at all. There's swirls and twisting and a surge of energy in his veins that burns like sake, and he feels it build up until it's too big to hold. It explodes out in a silver shower of moondust, and he focuses on Luffy and hopes and hopes-

Luffy takes a deep breath and sputters, turning over and twisting to cough water up everywhere, and Ace lets the transformation go and collapses.

"Magic is exhausting," Sabo says behind him, and he looks up to check, but yes, it is Sabo, not Mercury.

"It's awful," he agrees, but Luffy is breathing so it's not as bad as all that.

"Yeah," Sabo says, coming to squat beside him, eyes also stuck on Luffy, who's sitting up and rubbing his eyes. "Hey, Ace…"

"Yeah?"

"You really need to work on the falling down part."

Ace looks down, blushes, and finds that maybe he does have some energy left after all.

* * *

The first time one of them transforms, after, Luffy doesn't blink.

"Waaaaaah!" he shouts, running up to tug on Sabo's skirt. "Hey, how'd you do that?! Hey, can I do it too?"

"I don't think so, squirt," Sabo says fondly. "You gotta be born to it, and you'd know if you were."

Ace blows out a breath. Of Course Luffy thinks it's cool. Of _course_ he would. "Gramps would've said if you had powers," Ace says, and Luffy turns to pat his outfit. "No, what are you-ow, don't pull on that!"

"I want that too!" Luffy demands, and Ace huffs. Sabo's giving him a look, though, and Ace rolls his eyes but nods; just because Luffy doesn't have magic doesn't mean he can't have an outfit. They'll talk to Makino next time they're in town.

And they do, and she pats Luffy on the head and coos at him. "You're not a Scout," she tells him fondly, "but you can still be a hero!"

"I don't wanna be a hero!" Luffy pouts. "Are all the Scouts heroes?"

Oh, Ace hadn't thought of that. He turns his eyes towards Makino as she smiles at them, and he really hopes not.

"No," she says, "and yes. The Sailor Scouts saved the Moon Princess, so they were heroes, in the end. They protected her when the moon fell, and the Moon Princess pulled magic from the earth itself to save them. That's why we have such large oceans now, you see. But the Scouts had a mission, which was the protection of the Moon Kingdom; they didn't go around helping everyone for no reason."

Well, that's...not as awful as he was expecting.

"And the Sailor Scouts still protect the Moon Princess," she says, eyes on where Sabo's standing shoulder-to-shoulder with Ace. "So it was, and so it is."

Ace glances sideways at Sabo, his brother, his Mercury, and Sabo grins back at him. "Hear that?" Sabo says, nudging him. "Can't get rid of me that easy."

Ace huffs and crosses his arms, but that's fine; it's nice to know Sabo's not gonna be chased off by this awful destiny dropped on his head by an uncaring world and an idiot gramps.

"How do you know all this, though?" Sabo asks. "I mean, I got the lessons, like the rest of the potentials, but you're not in a Sailor Lineage, right?"

"Ah," Makino says, and winks. "That would be telling."

"Telling what?"

"That she's a magic moon cat sometimes," Ace says.

Sabo blinks. "She's-what?"

"Shh," Makino says, and Ace can almost see a tail twitching behind her, if he unfocuses his eyes the right way and touches his necklace. "Let's keep that just between us, okay?"

"There's another magic moon cat," Ace tells Sabo. "I haven't met him yet. He's off with Venus, I think."

"You'll meet him soon," Makino says, ruffling his hair. "Now why don't you boys come inside? I'll take some measurements and see about getting Luffy an outfit, and in the meantime, we can get you something to eat."

"Meat!" Luffy cheers, tuning back in and grabbing Makino's hand.

She laughs and leads them inside.

* * *

The skirt is red, to match Luffy's hat, and he wears it proudly. Unlike theirs, though, it is not magically resistant, and it's constantly having to get patched up and cleaned. Luffy doesn't mind, though, so neither do they.

"It's the outfit of the strong!" he proclaims to them, and they laugh and agree and let him do whatever he wants. It's not the worst reaction to meeting a Sailor Scout, not by a long shot.

Luffy's sailor outfit is his favorite, right up until-

Well.

"Ne, Ace," he says, standing on the cliff and looking out at the sea. "I thought the Sailor Scouts were strong."

"Yeah," Ace says, and if it comes out scratchy, well, Luffy won't mind. "Yeah, I thought they were too."

"I need to get strong on my own, don't I?" Luffy asks.

"Yeah. I think maybe we both do."

"Okay," Luffy says, and he untucks the skirt from his shorts waistband and holds it up, letting the wind drag it away and out over the ways. "I'm gonna get strong in my own way, and then stronger, and then stronger still!"

"Yeah," Ace says, because yeah, he'd've wanted that. Wouldn't he?

He watches Luffy grow up, there on that overlook, and put aside make-pretend moon magic to focus on his reality, a reality where they were one brother lonelier. It hurts like failure and sits in his chest like heartache, and the very worst part of all is how jealous he is that Luffy has the freedom to do that.

"The freest in the world," he murmurs, watching Luffy, and he believes, firmly and entirely, that Luffy can do that. And the least he can to is dedicate his life to clearing a path for that, which means getting stronger in his own way.

Luffy gives up magic and Ace shoulders the burden for both-for all three of them.

* * *

there's plenty of art of the Sailor Boys on jutm3h's tumblr. hold on, folks, this one's gonna get messy


	2. terrible horrible no good very bad life

_Strong language going forward; Ace is not a happy boi._

* * *

Ace shades his eyes with his hand and looks around. The town square is a bustle of chaos in the bright sunshine and it could be any large island in East Blue.

It's not, though; it's the first time his boots have hit dirt in the Grand Line, and that makes this island special. He's gonna explore it and eat everything, talk to everyone, and see if he's got himself a Wanted poster yet.

It's probably a bit early for that but there's something about the air, the sunlight, the noise that's making him a bit paranoid. It doesn't feel like he's being watched, not exactly, more like there's something just a bit off.

There's a scent in the air, though, of cooking meat, and he follows his nose to the market square. The object being offered is some kind of meat-onna-stick, and despite his time in forests and with Luffy, he can't quite identify what kind of animal it's from.

He gets one anyway. It's delicious.

There's a lot that's familiar here; he knows villages and markets, after all, but there's a lot that's new, too. A flower booth is selling blooms he's never seen and one plant turns to watch him pass by.

He walks with his hands in his pockets, looking but not touching. It's all new and interesting, but also he's getting twitchy and thinking about leaving. Which, why? He's only just got here, after all-

The creeping feeling of wrong that's been slowly edging up his spine is now flooding his mouth with a bitter taste, like bile and black coffee, and he swallows on the urge to retch. There's something wrong here. He spins in place, looking around, but no one else seems to notice that there's something off, something _badwrong_ -

The roar shakes the walls, and for all the feeling is stronger than ever, Ace blows out a breath in relief; having a target always did make him feel better.

He orients on the sound and there's a-that's-it's kinda...it's like a tall, spindly creature made of smoke, darkness and horrors rising above the houses on the other side of the square. It's screaming in a voice of nightmares and the sound of it pins Ace in place.

"It's a youma!" someone's yelling, and that word clicks in place in Ace's heart even as he spins.

"A what?!" he yells, dodging some kind of dark beam thing that the youma is scattering.

"A youma, it's a-" the guy is stuttering, and Ace grabs his arm and drags him along to the side of the street. "Youmas are-they're like-"

The youma roars again and the guy drops, cowering and wrapping his arms over his head. Ace huffs and paces back out into the square. The thing roars, which means it breathes, and if it breathes, Ace can kill it.

He lights his arm with fire and braces his feet.

"Duck!"

Ace doesn't duck; he turns and has to flinch back from a shattershot of golden beams, one of which passes so close it singes the brim of his hat. "Hey! Watch it!"

 _"Crescent Beam!"_

Ace falls back to avoid the next barrage and lands on the ground at the same time as orange kitten heels touch down. His gaze travels up past the frankly alarming amount of leg on show, the remarkably short skirt, bow, sailor bib, and gold tiara.

It's an outfit he knows intimately, though not in quite this color.

"What the hell?" he says helplessly. "Why? What? _Why?"_

The youma lights up gold, limned in power, and shatters in a way that's not quite real. There's a person behind the monster, and they fall to their knees and collapse in the middle of the road.

"What," Ace says, "the fuck was that?"

The Sailor Scout-Venus, something in him knows-sighs and steps forward, nudging the person with one sparkly shoe. "A youma," Venus says. "You must not be from around here."

"No," he says grimly, "I'm not."

"It's not your problem, yoi," Venus says, crouching to check on the person, then standing up and wiping one hand on the skirt-is it shorter than his? It looks shorter than his. "Fighting youma is the duty of the Sailor Scouts. They'll never go for a civilian when there's a Scout around. No need to worry, yoi."

"No need to worry?" Ace repeats incredulously. "You've got to be kidding me."

The look Venus tosses him is unimpressed. "Gotta go. Oh, and next time?" Ace looks up just in time to meet a pointed gaze. "When a Sailor Scout yells duck? You should probably duck."

And with a flounce and a jump, Venus is gone, leaving Ace on his butt in the middle of the street with what he's rapidly coming to suspect may be an actual corpse.

"I hate the Grand Line," he says blankly, and gets up.

"Captain?" someone asks, and he turns to find Masked Deuce. "You okay?"

"No! I mean, yeah, just-I'm not hurt, just angry," Ace says. "I don't understand. Am I some kind of Sailor Scout magnet? The last thing I want is to see another Sailor Scout as long as I live. Why are they always showing up around me?!"

"There, there," Masked Deuce says, grabbing hold of his elbow and towing him out of the square.

"Especially Sailor Moon!" Ace yells, waving his free arm around. "Why even is there moon magic? Why are there planet warriors in short skirts? Why is this necessary? No, really, I wanna know! Why! Is! This! Necessary?!"

"It's okay," Masked Deuce says soothingly. "C'mon, Saber heard something about the Red Force-"

 _"Who decided this was a good idea?!"_

"Okay, okay, captain. Breathe, please. Let's go chase a yonko for a while, that always cheers you up…"

Ace yells incoherently and only doesn't throw fire 'cause his first mate is so close.

They do get back to the ship without incident, though, and Ace goes straight to his bunk and screams into his pillow for a while. It's not very helpful in solving any of his problems, but it sure does make him feel better.

What also makes him feel better is that Saber's information is pretty recent and seems to actually be right. The port's not even that far away, even if it is a winter island. He drags his crew there anyway, all the way up a mountain, and finds Shanks, after all these years, sitting around a bonfire in a cave, completely drunk.

"Hi," he says, stepping forward to bow. "My name's Ace—"

"Princess!" Shanks cheers, raising a toast, and everyone in the cave freezes.

"What…?" Ace grits out, and Saber and Masked Deuce are there, tugging at his shoulders, even as Benn sighs and says to Shanks, "You can't just—"

"Nah, it's okay," Shanks says, waving him off. "Hey, Princess! Long time, no see!"

Ace stares at him, fists clenching, and then he sighs, long and loud, and sits in place. "How'd you know?" he asks plaintively, and his crew hits the floor behind him.

"Makino said you'd left," Shanks says, and Ace squints at him, then past him, and lets his eyes go just a bit unfocused—

"Oh no," he says, and now he can see it, the smugness and the hedonism and the massive, terrifying power like barely sheathed claws, and the barely-there tail. "Oh no. You're the other cat."

Shanks doesn't agree, but he doesn't deny it either. "It's been so long since we've had a proper Princess," he says instead. "Hey! Hey Benn! Benn, hey, bring another barrel! This calls for a party!"

"Everything calls for a party," Benn mutters, but he makes a gesture and the rest of Shanks' crew cheers wildly and starts rolling barrels up from the back of the cave.

"Princess?" Masked Deuce asks beside Ace, and he can feel his hands clenching into fists again.

"He, uh," Ace answers, and then thinks, _to hell with it_. "Shanks saved my little brother's life. As far as I'm concerned, he can call me anything he wants."

"Little brother?" Shanks says, leaning up just a bit. "The lineage never throws spares—"

"Luffy," Ace says determinedly right over him. "The little kid who stole your your devil fruit and stabbed himself in the face."

The entire cave grinds to a stop and Shanks actually sits up properly. "Luffy?" he asks. "But he's—well, that's an interesting turn for that relationship to take; don't think it's ever been siblings before." There's a weight on him, like Shanks' gaze is pressing down with the ineffable feeling Ace always ascribes to _moon magic bullshit_. Then he blinks and laughs and says, "But Luffy! Wow! How's the little anchor doing?"

Everyone crowds around close and Ace relaxes a bit, grinning. Finally, he gets to indulge in his favorite pastime—bragging about his brother.

* * *

"Hey," Saber says, leaning cautiously into the room. "There's a Marine? On deck? For you?"

"What?" Ace says, scrambling up. Why would the Marines be here? But wait, only one? The only Marine he knows who'd dare to come alone—but no, there'd be more screaming if it were Gramps—

It's a single guy, blond and bland, and no one Ace recognizes at all. His eyes flick to the guy's face, then his jacket cuffs, then his shoulders, and then he takes a step forward, lights one hand up, and says, "Can I _help you_ , Petty Officer?"

The poor Petty Officer shrinks back. "Uh," he says, eyes stuck on Ace's flaming fist, and then he quickly reaches into a pocket and pulls out—well, it looks like a sheaf of papers.

It _looks like_ the enrollment form Gramps has waved at him several times over the years. Ace's eyes stick to it and he takes a step forward. " _What_ ," he grits out, "is _that?"_

"On—on behalf of the Marine High Command," the guy says, and he's maybe babbling a bit but Ace doesn't care. "I am authorized to hereby extend the offer of a truce in the capacity of a shichibu—Ouch!"

The yelp is more of surprise than pain because the papers in his hand just ignited and burnt themselves out so fast and bright they may as well have been flash paper.

"Get out," Ace says, shaking in place with barely contained rage.

"But I'm to—"

"Get. Out," Ace says, and takes a single heavy step forward.

The Marine eeps, breaks, and runs.

"Where's the Moby Dick?" he asks no one in particular, and there's a short, vicious fight behind his back as to who gets to tell him.

Masked Deuce loses because he really has the worst luck. "It's," he starts, then swallows. "Are you sure this is a good idea?"

There's rage rising in him like the tide, like magma, and Ace is looking at the deck, he knows he is, but all he can see is red. "I'm sure I need to _murder something_ right now," he says, and entirely without his consent, his shoulders burst into flame.

"We—we don't know," Masked Deuce says, shrinking back from the heat.

"Then who's the closest Shichibukai," Ace demands, and Masked Deuce says, "Well, uh, actually—"

"Hello," says a polite voice, and Ace turns around slowly. "As a current shichibukai, I've been asked to discuss the offer with you," the well-dressed fishman states, setting foot on Ace's boat.

He looks vaguely familiar and Ace squints at him. "And _who_ ," he says slowly, "the fuck are _you?"_

"Ah, I haven't introduced myself. My name is Jinbe, formerly of Fishmen Island, shichibukai, and current holder of the power of the Jupiter line—"

Ace's scream comes bubbling up from the depths of his hatred, and he _attacks_.

Everything disappears in a swirl of fire, then water, and then, of course, superheated steam. Jinbe is strong, he's fierce, and he's got some serious moves, but Ace has stamina, and if he can't beat the guy, he can sure as hell outlast him.

* * *

"You are a worthy opponent," Jinbe says, somewhere around day three. "Are you sure you won't come be a shichibukai?"

"Shichi _go die_ ," Ace spits back, chest heaving with the effort of breathing.

"Very well," Jinbe says, stepping back. "Allow me to show you my true power!"

He raises his arm and opens his mouth, and Ace knows what's about to happen like he can see it coming in slow motion. "Nope," he says, and dashes forward. "Nope, no, we're not doing that." It's close, but he gets there in just enough time. He charges, left shoulder forward, and goes straight for the reaping sweep.

Jinbe falls backwards, arms flying up, and Ace follows him down to slap a hand over his mouth. His other hand starts prying at the wrist the fishman had raised earlier til his fingers hit metal and he scrabbles for it. Bracelet? Bracer? Some kind of metal, and he scrambles back off of Jinbe, taking the object with him.

"What—"

Ace retreats as far as he's willing to, then looks down. It is a bracer, a large metal one, all fancy with sigils and symbols and the sign of Jupiter front and center. "Can't _transform_ if you don't have your _transformation item_ ," Ace snarls, clutching it tightly.

"How did you—"

Ace drops it on the ground behind him and Jinbe gasps and lunges. Ace and kicks it backwards, out of range, and says, "Don't worry; I won't break it. Besides, transformation objects aren't that fragile."

"And how do you know this?" Jinbe says, back in stance and watching him warily.

"A drunk moon cat told me," Ace lies, and charges back into the fight.

* * *

He wakes up on the shore. There's no telling how long he's been out, or even how long he fought Jinbe, really, but he's damn sure it wasn't him who passed out first.

He's sore, empty in a cold kind of way, and blinking hurts. He feels better, though; calmer and less unbalanced.

It's nice to just lie there and breathe for a bit, right up til someone pokes him in the side and says, "You dead?"

Ugh. He flips over, curling away from the foot, rocks back on his spine and pushes up into a jackknife jump that puts him on his feet.

The person who'd poked him has fallen back a step and gone glassy. Literally, his skin has gone hard and white and reflective.

Ace blinks. He's never seen anything like that before, but then his eyes fall on the tattoo and that he certainly has.

He growls, turning to look around, and sure enough there's a small fleet of landing boats coming from the absolutely massive ship in the distance. And there's Whitebeard himself, standing proud on a flat-bottomed landing boat, so Ace backs up, takes a few running steps, and leaps.

The boat is too far away for a single jump, even from someone like Ace. Luckily, he doesn't have to rely only on that; he leans forward and lights up his arms, using the heat and momentum to give himself an extra boost.

He lands hard, in a crouch, and doesn't bother cutting off the fire to his hands. Whitebeard's turned to look at him, though, and Ace grins, a wide slash of rage across his face.

"All right," he says, raising up from his crouch, fire rising around him and in his eyes. "I am having a very bad day. Week. Life, whatever. And I've got some _stress_ that needs working out." He cracks his knuckles and saunters forward, leaving fire in his wake. "And the thing about my bad days? They're contagious."

And he slams his fist down, setting the entire dingy on fire, and he laughs and laughs and laughs.

He laughs all the way up til talons wrap around his arms and haul him straight up, and then his laughs turn into screams and threats as the big blue fire bird carries him away to the Moby Dick proper. There's a booming laugh following them, and Ace looks back to see Whitebeard, still standing tall on the flaming boat, laughing as they go.

Ace sets himself on fire again and yells to be let down, flailing upwards with flame. The bird ignores him,, circling lower and does drop him, just a bit too high for a safe descent.

He sticks the landing anyway, turning to scream more obscenities at the sky, and the bird circles around, coming in low and hitting the ground as a person. He's an oddly familiar man, Ace thinks, squinting; he's sure he's seen this guy before.

"You," the guy says, straightening from his landing, "are more trouble than you're worth, yoi."

"Thanks," Ace says, and spits on the deck.

"Why would you set fire to the boat you're on when you know you can't swim?"

"Because _fuck you_ , that's why!"

Blondie throws up his hands and walks away, and a tall guy with a truly ridiculous hairstyle pops up next to him. "Hey Marco, what—oh, new kid. Hey, new kid! What's your name?"

"Don't bother," apparently-Marco says. "He's not staying."

"Damn right I'm not," Ace agrees. "I'm just here to _kill you all_ and then I'll be on my merry way to anywhere but here."

"Kill us all?" the new guy says, and a third person pops up, lanky and dressed in oddly old-fashioned ruffles.

"Yeah," she says, "this is that new rookie that's got everyone in a tizzy, remember? Fire Fist Ace. He's apparently aiming to kill Pops, though the whole mass murder thing is new."

"Yeah, well," Ace says, standing up and cracking his spine, then flicking one hand into fire. "I hadn't planned on it, but then I _met you_ , so…"

Marco turns and leaves, and the redhead with the hair as long as his shoulders are wide, makes a quiet noise in his throat. "I'm Thatch and I'm reluctantly charmed," he says, sticking out his hand.

Ace looks at him, looks at his hand, and then looks down to his own hand which is still _on fire_. Whitebeard laughs at murder attempts, Marco grabs people who are on fire, and now this. Does _no one_ on this ship have any sense of self-preservation?

"You're all mad," Ace says blankly.

"Probably," the other person says, and she's laughing at him, he can tell. "Don't worry, you'll fit right in."

"You'll fit in a coffin when I'm done with you," Ace answers. "I'm gonna kill your Captain if it's the last thing I ever do."

His pride is on the line, and his crew, and if there's one thing Ace can't do, it's give up.

* * *

He's been on this ship for too long, he knows, because he's starting to do dumb things like actually _learn people's names_ and, like, _care_ and shit.

This isn't the first island they've docked at since Ace has been aboard, but it's always a good distraction. The Moby Dick is out in the harbor, half the crew is ashore, and it's a perfect time for a spot of murder.

He's tried straight-forward and he's tried subtle; time to try sneaky.

So he helps himself to the biggest axe he can find and comes at Whitebeard from behind, screaming loudly.

Marco's there, suddenly, because Marco's always there. Marco catches the axe blade in taloned feet and wrenches it out his hands, dropping it to the deck and landing on the back of Whitebeard's chair. "Really?" he asks. "Just—with the axe? And the ambush? _Really?"_

A month ago—a week ago—he might has screamed with thwarted rage, but now he just sighs and skulks off around the chair. He has to rework tomorrow's plan, then, if—

Someone on the island _screams_.

Ace's head jerks around, and the way the horizon's just a bit darker has his eyes flickering and he draws in a deep breath. Yeah, it's there, just subtle—like copper and smoke.

"Pops," Marco says, and Ace looks back.

"Go," Whitebeard says, and Marco takes a few running steps, jumps for the railing, and leaps off and away, wings already spread.

"That's a youma," Ace says, watching Marco fly towards it.

"Yeah," Thatch says, and sighs. "I'm gonna go make some cinnamon muffins; he's always in a bad mood after these."

"After these…?" Ace repeats, and Haruta leans against the rail next to him.

"Yeah, he hates killing people," she says, shading her eyes with one hand. "Can't be helped, though, until we find the Moon Princess."

Ace freezes. "Moon….Princess…?" he repeats.

"Yeah, she's the only one who can heal," Haruta explains. "All the Scouts can fight the youma, and they can break the curse, but only the Princess can heal them of it. Marco knows it's necessary but he still hates it. Guess that's what makes him such a good Venus."

"Venus," Ace says flatly. "Marco. Is Venus."

"What, you didn't know? It's only the worst kept secret on the Moby Dick. Hey, wait, where are you going?"

"I think I need to go for a swim," Ace says woodenly.

"But you can't swim."

"Yeah," Ace says. "I know."

* * *

Marco set the bowl of stew down, and Ace doesn't look up from where his head is buried in his knees. He certainly doesn't say thanks, but he's been starting to feel bad about that.

The stew smells great, though, and Marco turns to go, to let him eat in peace. Marco, who's Venus. Marco, who has the heritage of a Sailor Scout and yet also has a family. His crew knows everything about him; isn't that dangerous?

"Hey," Ace says, and Marco looks back. "They-your crew. They don't care? About the whole…magic thing? About you being…different?"

Marco looks back and smiles, and there's an uncomplicated kind of joy there that Ace isn't ready for. He looks away. "No one cares about secrets here," Marco says. "We're family, yoi. We support each other, no matter what."

Ace swallows, and then he asks, "Why…why do you call him Pops?"

Marco turns fully, and Ace looks up at him. His smile is gentle and happy, and he says, "Because he calls us his sons."

Ace looks back at that painful happiness, then down at the bowl of stew. "Okay," he says, and swallows. Then he closes his eyes, lets his head thunk back against the railing, and says, "Yeah, okay."


End file.
